Thursday, August 7, 2008

Dog and Cat Diary




Which way do I go?
Which way do I go?

Where's the ball?
Where's the ball?




Art by Deborah Burt / Medium: Ink 1985

DOG DIARY

7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Day 985: Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 986: Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.

He is obviously a goofus head!



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Ohhhhhh, yes! Wee wood like to THAnk, Lor form CA, for sending this informative empirical study to us today. I think there is a lot we can all learn form this study. THAnK you again, LOr, for the important piece and your time to send iT to us.

The Important Tip of th e DAy: 3 words: nutter, nutter, nutter, nutter and nutter. If you have your pets nutterred and sprayed you will be showing them Greet LOVE and CAre. Note only will there be less homeless petS you will be giving your pets a chance for better health and a longer life. SOOOO please nutter and spray your pets. In the long run they will thank you for it.

The SHout Out of the day: Hey you, Wendy Sue of UT, for sharing your backyard and babysitting your neighbor's goat, mule and Shetland pony. We hear you adopted a stray cat in your neighborhood too (think in came with the house you bought.) You and your daddy have a GOOd heart. Keep up the good life! You will be bleesed!

By By for NoW,
Zack anb Anna





Hugs a nd BUgs from one COOL DUDE and a COOL DUDEDETTE

1 comment:

Molly and Alley said...

Zack and Anna,

Regarding the "Dog Dairy and Cat Dairy" it was so funny that we FORGOT to laugh.

Signed,

Molly and Alley
(THE TWO DOGS WHO LIVE UP THE STREET.)